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Here is a common question often heard at Subaru gatherings up and down the land: “So, you drive a Wagon then? Are you part of that group of loons who dress up in uniforms, the 55 or 555 something-or-the-other?” A crisp salute often gives the game away. The individual asking the question usually turns and scuttles off to talk to anyone else standing close by. But, very very occasionally, the response is: “Wow! Can I join in?” And that’s how it starts! What’s the 555 Wagon Squadron all about then? Some say it exists to promote the Impreza Wagon, often overlooked in comparison with the saloon. Others suggest a more sinister role, linked either with national security or perhaps a mental health institution. There is certainly a military air about the uniforms, the ridiculous salutes, the banter, and the need for members to park in neat formations all the time. Cor!! But in reality, medical experts have diagnosed Squadron personnel as suffering from an extreme form of Wagonism. It’s not contagious, but if you are susceptible it can take hold rapidly!!!! Gadzooks!!! The Squadron was commissioned by one particular Wagon owner with a dual interest in aviation, namely Jason “Shiny Pipes” Wright, known on the Subaru forums as the Squadron Leader, obviously! One day he was busily parking a group of Wagons together at a meet, when the inspiration for setting them in a “Red Arrows style” formation came to him. The Wagons all looked so neat and the Squadron Leader suggested the owners should do it more often. The other owners agreed! The Squadron was formed! Fabbo!!!! The Squadron has a “secret base”, where various formations were developed and honed through constant practice, and performed for the delight of no-one in particular. Much practice is required to perform daring stunts such as the “Synchronised Tailgate Lift” and the “Co-ordinated Wing Mirror Salute”. Blimey!! The Squadron also has “secret equipment” and a range of support staff including the “Scoobabes All-wheel-Drive Dance and Modelling Troop”, and the “Tactical Mayhem Ground Support Team”. Wow! Audited membership for 2008 is even confirmed as having reached double figures! Amazing!! SO THERE YOU ARE THEN. ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM WAGONISM? NOT SURE? RING 555-555555 AND OUR EXPERTS WILL BE ON HAND TO GIVE RIDICULOUS ADVICE. ISSUED BY THE 555 WAGON SQUADRON PRESS OFFICE.
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