**CONTAMINATED AREA** Crowman at RCM **CONTAMINATED AREA**
 

It may appear strange compiling a thread on this subject, but it was such a momentous event it does needs to go public.

Whilst standing beside The Gobstopper enjoying petrol head chat with a few guys Crowman walked past and launched the most violent fart I have EVER heard. I've had 30 yrs of working with guys that fart for a hobby but nothing come close to what happened today.

It was the first time I have ever found myself looking at someone who has just let rip to see if they were literally okay ................ and also the first I have ever certified as dangerous !

The workshop was packed and my peripheral vision did suggest that EVERY person in the room froze and looked around wondering what the fook has just happened.



God knows what you eat fella !!! :)


Awesome experience !

Haha class. Although worzel was giving some good competition too - maybe not in quantity but definitely in volume!

Pmsl Clive, it's something I have trained hard to perfect. I am the master Farter :-)

Ha! Ha! The guy is the king of farts :rally:

Fooking brilliant keep it up mate!! How many times in perfecting this has the cloth been touched thou...??:boom:

I re-witnessed that event many times during the night, even though on the occasion I was a little distance away. Today I am quite tired!

Crowman is indeed THE KING!!

:wagon::SMBLU:

The man is a filthy bastard, plain and simple! His user name should be changed to "mustard gas producing mother ****er" to be honest! :whistle:

I have been moved to wanting to rip his tits off with something blunt and preferably rusty too, during some of his unilateral chemical attacks. Japbash a couple of years ago, nearly lead to murder!

The guy is an anal cloud producing legend, thankfully there are not many others like him. I can drop an "air biscuit" with most people, but there's no keeping up with this lad.

Rich, your a brave boy going down to Germany with him.

And how you ever get your "trumpet" blown is beyond me, if I was a chick I wouldn't dare venture anywhere south of your ears!

Lubs yoo! :five:

Come on mate, dont beat about the bush, Say what you mean:wink:

xx


Hey Ron
Can you work some magic and sort out a farty type smiley for me please

LOL, I'm sharing a room with him and im now thinking top and tailing is going to be a bad idea!!! :vom: I am taking a gas mask for sure!!

I reckon both of you needed many courtesy wipes throughout the day by the sounds of your dirty mustard gas pop off's.

PMSL at Steves post :10:


No need to feel bad about Martyn.

Being able to perform like that is a fookin gift dude.

No doubt there may be a few more humans with the same talent, but we are blessed knowing one of these few people who is prepared do demonstrate in public.

Most people with your talent would run to the middle of a field whereas you are prepared to risk damage to surrounding people or equipment.

Top Man ;)

Have been chuckling all day guys, can't belive there's been so much chat about my somewhat tunefull rear, priceless :-)

I'm trying to master the flat four burble

RCM Martyn Fart
:fart:




Don't stand behind Crowman Fart
:mfart:

Briliant, thanks mate :mfart: oops, sorry

I'm loving the smilies. :ok:

When you have a backside like that Martyn, you should be proud mate, that bastard thing could empty a stadium, let alone a ****ing room! You fetid **** bag!

:doubleup:

LMAO at Crowman.

"So much chat about this" After hearing and feeling the aftershock I've been shocked at the LACK OF RESPONSE !

I'm sitting here fookin pi55ing myself reading this thread whilst reading texts from Worzel at the same time hearing what a fookin Gunge Pit Crowman has been all his life,

I'm crying LOL

I'm glad I'm amusing you buggers :fart::rofl:

Jap bash , mmm came close to a fat lip that night off of Worzel :-)

The bloke is without doubt the filthiest arsed beast I have ever known, even compared to the sites I have worked with some fairly rank mick builders, there is nothing quite as putrid as a crowman muck cloud, man that is vile fooling ****!

I have watched bloody cockroaches run in the other direction at the first fetid squeak of the infected stench trench!

He,s purely and simply a fookin wrongun!

I must like you mate, any other bastard that did what you did mate would have been buried under that mobile bog at Bentley wildfowl now :lol:

Ha ha ha, the leather in your M3 was never the same again ;-)

For 2012 there will be no SES shirts at events, but username/SES branded gas masks. You'll be able to tell who Martyn is...HE WON'T BE WEARING ONE......

Ha ha , briliant .
To be honest Scott the more exposure , the quicker you get amuned :-):fart:

You lot seriously need to come round and try living with it!!!! Trust me it's a noise in our house as common as any other! :mfart:

LMAO thats awesome :ok:

P1Hun Hi. Sorry to be so rude but I haven't seen many posts by you.

I am assuming that you live within 2 miles of Crowman ??

The distance depends on what he has eaten. :mfart:

P1hun lives 2 feet away the poor girl!

You would be able to spot her in uckfield quite easily, she's the one with the surgical mask on and a tampon in each nostril!

You are one brave chick nikki to live with that foul specimen :worthy:

All I can say is it's a good job my botty burps are scented with roses .
As I'm on form tonight :-)

On form is not the words it's continuous with every movement the air is green and I feel like I'm in a gas chamber!!!!!! HELP!

PMSL !

Have the room numbers been booked for next years Ring Trip yet ?

I am now somewhat concerned about how close our room may be to Sonic Sphincter's & Nikki's ?



Nikki. you are either very brave or have a sense of humor similar to mine, cos if I would have been born a woman I too would have lived with Martyn just for the crack !...

PMSL @ Clive.......

"Just for the crack" :worthy:

Fookin Priceless

:worthy::worthy::worthy:

Did you have to check for mud afterwoods? lol ;-)

You've just given me an idea Andy.

A set of mud flaps for his chuddies for Christmas! :whistle:

This is a funny story I put in The Woc and it happened this year at Santa Pod. It will also go well with the thread topic!

Cant remember what event but it was one of the big Jap Shows.

I had been walking round all day from 7.30am and it was one of those days where your stomach is full of noises.
At 5.00 pm I was fully aware I needed a crap 8 hours ago, so I headed for The Pod toilets.

I have spent many days at The Pod over the years at mid week test sessions where the place is empty compared to the big events and we always use the women's, as it's the first one you come to and better for your health.!

Knowing that several thousand people had gone home there was about 50% of the spectators left and as I got to the women's wc it appeared empty.
A quick look over my shoulder and I was in and noticed all the cubical doors were slightly open suggesting the place was empty.

Walked down the end and locked myself in the end cubical.

Now, this is one of the occasions where you are REALLY glad you have made it to the WC and I knew this was going to be explosive !

Trousers at ankles, sat down, just about to commence the performance and fook me I heard footsteps enter and it was more than one person.
Sitting there holding back and I heard 3 doors lock.

Im normally one of those guys that do anything within my power to 5hit in silence but on this occasion it seemed different as I was in a women's public toilet so I went for it. :)

The following violence would have been dramatic and a Gent's WC! .... I'm talking serious fartage that sounded worrying. I am now sitting there quietly pissing myself laughing knowing that the 3 women are thinking "Jeezus, listen to her".

Anyway, I finished, sat there for a while until the coast was clear and left.

Hours later at home I told this story to Hev (my wife).

She was laughing to the point she slowly slid off the settee ?? I knew it was a funny story but Hev was in fookin stitches and was trying to talk but couldn't.
Eventually whilst still laughing she said ", I know, I was in their at the same time !!!!!!!!!

and she was, because she described the whole event in great detail :yeah:

I have just been sitting here shaking like a ****ting dog, laughing as quietly as I could until I could no longer.

Mate, that is just ****ing priceless, top bombing that man! The idea of Hev sat in one of the traps thinking..... "Hark at that dirty bitch" brilliant.

:worthy: :worthy: :worthy:

lol excellent, had to put me cuppa down before i spilt it lol

On another note mr worzel maby we could get him a custom ses nappy too lol

nearly spilt my beer Mr Fudge ,top man

I can remind you, that was the Jap Show Finale, Clive. Can well remember that horrific noise. OMG, that was YOU????? :faint: And I thought 'Jeez, that lady MUST be in trouble.' I would have nearly called the ambulance....... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

LMAO ! you were there that day too Mum :) but you couldn't of been in the WC at the same time.

It was such a horrific event to happen in a pretty pink toilet you would have told us and everyone you met in the next 6 months about it :)

I was sooooooo shocked I couldn't talk about it till now.........................:shock::shock::shock:











Was just kidding, Clive. :grin::grin::grin:

Thank gawd for that :)

pmsl...........:grin::grin::grin:

thats 1 off the best storys ive heard 4 along time clive.

There's many funny / weird stories lol.

Not sure if that is something to be proud about or not?.

Looking back I was born with one talent, and that is to have the ability to attract total fookin nutta's with ease, which often end up in hilarious stories to tell :)