Mr-T with shoe polish on the face n everything.
any Mr-men costume you can get hold of
Wally from "Where's Wally"
All go dressed as Bernie Clifton (At least the bird half anyways) :-
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=...=0&FORM=IDFRIR
And when I say all go, I mean from the moment you leave your house to go catch the train. anyone that wimps out gets shoved in to the first gay bar you come across while dressed as. . . . .you guessed it. . . Bernie Clifton.
in fact, if you can get him to the church after still dressed as bernie clifton, even better.